One of the frequent questions we hear at the joint is : “Are you guys doing the Rib Cook Off ?” and the short answer is always “Sorry, no…”

This is always followed by “Why not ?”

Which is always answered by “Because.”

This, in turn, is always followed by 1 of 2 reactions 96.239% of the time (yes, I keep track): Either raised eyebrows or “Because, why ?”

Ok, folks, time to get a cup of coffee, a beer, a glass of wine or a stiff drink…or all of the above. (Really, I don’t judge…) I’m about to get my normal, long winded blog on…

When a man or woman loves their pork ribs very, very much, they tend to want to make them the best way they know how. Once that perfect rib rub is found, the perfect way to prepare and manage the fire, that perfect wood, charcoal, butane, propane, methanol, gasoline or what ever fuel you like, you tend to stick with it…because it works for you.

Since, here at the joint, we smoke our ribs for around 4 – 4 1/2 hours then let them “rest” for at least 1/2 an hour, our cycle time is 4 1/2 to 5 hours to make a batch of ribs. My smoker has a capacity to do 50 racks of ribs at the same time…which we never do…ever…

Just because we “can” is not the point. I “can” make 50 racks at the same time and have “OK” ribs or I can do 20 racks of “OMG” ribs… For the same price, which would YOU rather have ?

“Because, why?”

I have destroyed more racks of ribs figuring our MY technique than I will ever eat in a lifetime. I have had 3 generations of dawgs that have lived and died eating my failed attempts at pork ribs… I am a rather stubborn old bastard who decided they will be either the best damned ribs _I_ can make or I won’t make them… Agreed, pork ribs are kinda like pizza: Even when they’re kinda bad they’re still kinda good. I don’t want “kinda good”, I want “OH MY GAWD, THESE ARE SOOOO GOOD!!!!” So after 40+ years of trying, I am happy with what I do. So are about 98.5314% of the people who have tried them… The reason is, I don’t go for for the “Turn and Burn” school of thought. I can make 20 racks of ribs every 5 hours or so… and that is all I’m gonna do in one day. Which means at ~ $ 25 a rack to the customer, I’m never gonna get rich…or famous…but they’ll be the best I can do. Yeah, doing the best I can doesn’t always pay the bills, but seeing happy customers enjoy their food….well, artificial lighting really IS over rated…

Now, then…”Turn and Burn” is how a lot of Pit Masters will produce a whole bunch of ribs in a short period of time. And believe me, some of these people make SPECTACULAR ribs that way… I just travel a different path. I believe “low and slow” yields a better product. The “low” refers to temperatures in the smoker. The “slow’ refers to how much time I take to do the cooking…

“Turn and Burn” (as I define it) is where you have a hot fire that “sears” the meat on the outside, sealing in the juices. After the meat is seared it can either be moved to a “cooler” part of the grill or basted with sauce to keep the outside of the meat from burning as the inner portions come up to a (hopefully) safe temperature. The problem I have with this is you can have a very, VERY tasty rib but it can be a bit less tender, maybe a bit more charred than I, personally, like or possibly not “done” next to the bone. Another thing I have a problem with is that the connective tissues don’t “render” or break down. That’s the rubbery “gristle” you end up pulling or spitting out…

Rendering the fatty and connective bits is the reason our ribs “fall off the bone”. A lot of good folks will tell you a good rib should have a bit of “tug”: you should have to give a tug on the rib meat before it comes off the bone. A lot of good people like broccoli…and tofu…and raw fish cheeks…

Ewww…

Anyway, the way I do ribs the meat falls off the bone because I have given it enough TIME at a relatively low heat level to loosen everything up and then SLOWLY come up to a temperature where the stuff holding everything together just breaks down and gets super tender. Also you have less gristle to contend with, which equals more “NOM NOM NOM” per bone and less “PIT-TOOIE” of rubber chunks…

“So why can’t you do that at the Rib Cook Off ?”

Because I would lose a whole ton of money… As a business where I have yet to even SMELL a profit, I can’t pack up the shop and do a 4 day cook at the Rib Cook Off for around $500 a day in sales at a cost of $600-900 per day… They charge you rent for your stall, there is the cost of the raw materials, there are labor costs, permits, equipment, close the store for the weekend, etc…And I still could only make 20 racks of ribs (at ~ $25 per rack) per day. Yes, I know many may charge a lot more than that, but I think ~ $25 a rack is fair and I won’t charge more than that… Again, I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I don’t try to cut you to the bone, either…

So while I know that some folks will make an absolute “killing” at the Rib Cook Off, it’s not something I’m willing to sacrifice my time, money and what I consider my quality for. Maybe in a few years, but not right now…